Memorial
Garden
In Loving Memory of
Jonathan
E. Holliday
8/03/1990- 10/18/2004
I
started the memorial garden in February of this year and at the time had
no idea how it was to turn out. Jimmy my best friend and fiance helped
me so much getting started and direction of the garden. He landscaped
the pond (which became the focal point of Jonathan's memory garden) and
I choose, planted and maintained all the of the beautiful flowers and
greenery.
Every day I would go outside and dig, dig and dig until I had callused
palms and dirty fingernails. Every blister I developed and every bead
of sweat that dropped from my body helped me thru the gut wrenching pain
of losing my son. I would for hours dig holes and then fill them up. I
was digging away the pain and planting seeds for hope one day. For me
the garden turned out to be the best alternative therapy.
The garden became a necessity in my life. Next too needing air, food and
water, without it, I felt like a wilted flower broken and just barely
surviving. The more I worked in the garden the further along I climbed
this mountain of grief. The more holes I filled with colorful and bright
pretty flowers, the lighter this enormous load felt on my heart broken
and shattered life.
I dug and planted what were once bare empty spots, and filled them with
beautiful flowers. filling in these bare places in my yard seemed to repair
and fill the gaping, and immense holes of emptiness and loneliness I felt
inside. Seeds of hope I planted from this earth shattering experience.
After many months, I realized that something new and positive happened
each day and that the " little things in life" really are not
little, they are actually big. Simple acts of stopping and smelling the
flowers and looking at the beauty around us, sharing little moments with
our children are the important things in life.
The connection with my garden seemed to bring a closer spiritual connection
with my son. It gave me time to sort thru all the memories we had together
and all the tomorrow's we will never have. I will always be thankful for
the yesterdays and will cherish and treasure each moment Jonathan and
I had together. The seasons of grief are not over for me, they have just
begun and each season
will bring a different journey.
The garden will be my prayer that I will dig, pull, plant and water daily.
It will help me come to terms with the future and maybe see a warm ray
of sunlight thru the thick dark clouds of losing a child.
Written
by Donna Adams
With loving memories of my son Jonathan