I remember coming home from my parents’ house on the night my brother died. Everyone had gone to bed and I was just sitting there, completely stunned, hurt and broken. I went to the computer and did a search. I simply typed in the word “Suicide.” I don’t remember what exactly I found that night, but I did eventually connect with unknown people who helped me deal with the tragedy of losing my 36 year old baby brother, Terry to suicide.

I joined several Internet support groups over the next weeks. I couldn’t believe the number of people who had suffered this unbelievable horror. I remember one woman, Dinah, who is still an Internet buddy, copied a book and mailed it to me. I read it over many times. I couldn’t believe her kindness. It helped me to not feel so alone. The computer became my lifeline in many ways. I met Carol, mom of Keith, through the computer. Her kindness and support she has given my family will never be forgotten. I couldn’t believe that she drove in from another state just to meet my parents and offered them comfort when they needed it most.

Here I am, four years later, still a member of just one group now. I try to give back to the group what others gave me in those early days of grieving. Many days I thought I would never survive, but I always had my SIBS to turn to that group is SOLOS-Sibs, which can be located on It can also be accessed through

I think I stayed with the group because losing a sibling is one of the most difficult things that could ever happen. You have to deal with the pain your parents are in, you have to deal with the pain of a spouse left behind, and possibly, children that your sibling left behind. You lose part of your childhood when you lose a sibling, memories that you share with no one else but your sibling.

Please do not hesitate to contact me with any questions you might have. I would be glad to help anyone in anyway possible. My email is

Terry’s big sis
There is Love in our Pain,
There are Memories in our Grief,
There is hope in our Sharin